Sketchdex's Rant on Stupid Things
by Sketchdex
Summary: BLAAARGH! So much stuff! Who da heck are all these new Ninjago characters in the characters tab? CONFUZZLED!


**Well, this is annoying. And devastating. Hey hey! There's that word again. Didn't even realize I wrote that.**

**So, guess what! I'm going to tell you a story. Until now, I have typed all my stories on a Late-year 2011 MacBook Pro laptop. And dang that thing lasted for a long time. But here comes the sad part.**

**Recently, I started it up and went to the bathroom, and when I came back the screen was black again. Confused, I clicked the start button and waited. It went to the start menu before abruptly shutting off again. Confused, I used my iPad to troubleshoot some stuff and figured out what had gone wrong.**

**My data was corrupt. ALL of it. And you know what that means... over 200 GB worth of stuff. That includes games, photos, apps, and stories... over 25 stories... mostly with over 5 chapters in each.**

**There was this one story I didn't want to post on the internet, but I really loved it. Occasionally I liked typing chapters of it, but most of the time every few months I would just come back and read the whole thing the full way through.**

**There was also this "adorable" Kid!Jay story that I made, loved, but I completely stopped even though I wanted to continue it because I totally got roadblocked when Kai bonked Jay on the head with a remote controller.**

**There was also this really ancient story that was like 3 years old and like 200 chapters. That was back when I was a really bad writer, so the chapters were only like 250-500 words each. How sad.**

**Anyway, when I discovered the only way to get my access to my computer back was to wipe EVERYTHING, I just dropped the whole thing and refused to click the Erase button. I cried myself to sleep that night.**

**Today, the laptop sits at the bottom of my desk with its power cord, completely useless. I love that thing and it's never going in the trash.**

**So I got a Windows computer and the big box, hooked it up (well actually a tech person did that because I have no idea how to do that stuff), a swanky new keyboard, a swanky new mouse and mousepad, and then I got another monitor out of the basement so I had double monitors. Which means I have a video running on the other monitor as I type this.**

**I feel terrible right now because there's so much stuff going on in my life - medical stuff, friendship, staying alive in general, and not being able to sit down at my computer to do things. I also feel terrible because I haven't updated my stories in such a long time. I'm not one of those fantastic authors who updates every week or two weeks or every other day and stuff, which great content in each chapter.**

**I'm one of those lazy authors who writes the opening chapter, then waits for a week from laziness before deciding one night "Hey, let's write a chapter! Why not?!" then I spend the last two hours of my day typing away until I have about 2,500 words, then I post. I used to think 1,000 words was long enough, until I posted a 1,000 word chapter on FanFiction, viewed in the preview, and realized the whole thing was viewable without scrolling, which I hate. I WANT to scroll down and read more.**

**I look at the scroll bar on a really good story, and on a cliffhanger moment, I always check the bar to see if there's more to go, so I know I can get past the cliffhanger. But if there's a cliff hanger and I look at the bar and I'm still at the top of the page, I know the rest of the chapter is probably going to be boring. Unless I know it isn't.**

**Now, if you didn't want to read all that, here's the recap: My old computer had a data corruption and all my stories are gone. ALL OF THEM. So now I have to retype them all.**

**But the good thing is I didn't even start the third chapter of A Burnt Midnight. But I don't know if you guys would even want to see more of this story... after all... I myself find it a bit boring. There isn't much inspiration, but after playing all these FPSs I can imagine a big firefight in Ninjago. Ninjago never really used guns, because it's a kids show and all, and then they decided to ruin it entirely with a love triangle and Rebooted, which was possibly the worst season I've ever seen in my life... I didn't enjoy a single episode. I was so bored I had one of those moments where everything's fine in the episode, and a crucial moment comes along, and I imagine a bomb going off suddenly interrupting everything and the Ninjago world is destroyed.**

**Besides, I felt it focused too much on certain characters. The pilot episodes were all about Kai, they focused on him as much as possible, Season 1 was kind of mixed, possibly because they were just waltzing around with no set primary character. Obviously, Rebooted was all about Zane, but it had a bunch of Kai in it too.**

**I feel like Kai has had too much. He is a fantastic character (by far has the most emotion, completely destroying Jay in my opinion) and deserves a lot, but I feel it emphasizes him too much. Fire isn't the dominate element, after all.**

**Then I was super disappointed with Zane. He never really appealed to me much, because I thought he was boring. I get that it's cool that he's a robot and nindroid or whatever you want to call him, but even in Season 1 and the Pilots he was just BORING. For some people he was just the best character, but it was terrible for me.**

**In the short where the ninja are racing dragons, Kai was fighting with Zane and he shot a fireball at Shard, saying "Need a light?" as a pun. A bad pun, but a pun none the less.**

**Then Zane got Kai back, basically giving him hypothermia. I'm surprised Kai didn't have anything amputated. And that's not even joking. But Zane says "Feeling a little... chilly?"**

**Sorry Zane, but that's not even a joke, that's just a question. There's no pun to it. I get that ice makes you chilly, but it's not funny at all. And don't get mad at me because he is a robot and he doesn't have a sense of humor. It just was boring to me.**

**Then in the last episode of Rebooted, I watched him jumping across the buildings onto the incredibly cheesy Overlord super spider. Then he latched on, and everyone was screaming "NOO! ZAAAANE! LEEEEET GOOOOOO!" then he exploded in a blast of frost, which, theoretically, would have probably frozen everyone instantly. Then the ninja come out and it's super dramatic. It would've been better if they found his head.**

**Then the funeral comes along and everyone's like "NOOOOO ZANE'S DEAD... WAAAH WAHHH WAAHHH"**

**And the ninja are all acting really solemn, like you're supposed to act during a funeral. Then in the Borg tower or whatever it's called Pixal hears Zane in the computer, asking if they're compatible now. Cheesy as heck. Pixal is a Windows game, Zane is a Ubuntu. NO YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE WHATSOEVER.**

**Zane was totally one directional in Rebooted. It destroyed his character even more than just boring. It was torture for me watching him be the hero in every place. "Pixal! Are you alright?"**

**"Nooo! Pixal is dead!"**

**"Pixal... are we compatible?" NO SHUT UP. "Zane be careful."**

**"Where's Zane?"**

**"Be careful Zane!"**

**"No! Zane!"**

**If you really want the full explanation of how stupid Zane was in Rebooted, go read Toon Friend's venting story. It's incredible. And true.**

**And I like watching bad things happen to them in the show. It's the best thing ever, and it's not gross like in reality shows. It's ENTERTAINING to see CARTOON CHARACTERS in trouble or whatever. It's because they're cartoon characters. Call me sadistic, but it's actually very fun to see them in distress. I always like complete destruction. I don't like it when the sides are EQUAL.**

**I need one side being completely destroyed. Give me a scene where the ninja face an entire army of like five billion nindroids and I want a huge cinematic where the ninja just wreck their way through with elemental powers. Not in tiny bursts of Spinjitzu, I want the Tornado of Creation! Detonation! DESTRUCTION! Nindroids flying everywhere! Dramatic sword fights where everyone gets injured, including the ninja!**

**OR... an army of nindroids overwhelming the ninja, slashing them to pieces! TANKS! LASERS! Not the bad eye lasers! And seriously, if those eye lasers were an attempt at action, it was terrible. Those eye lasers should've been 100% accurate. If they are really aimed by the eye, they should go completely where the eye wants it go, not hit a box that's ten feet away from the target.**

**"They are faster, stronger, and better than Zane has ever been!" So says the LEGO website. I'm sure. Zane can get a direct hit with a shuriken with his hands probably without even looking, but the nindroids, complete robots, cannot even use their apparently superior technology to lock on targets and completely annihilate them with 100% accurate lasers.**

**WHAT VILLAINS DO WHEN THEY FINALLY CAPTURE THE HEROES:**

**1% of Villains... Kill Them**

**99% of Villains... Talk and Talk and Talk Until the Heroes' Allies Arrive to Save Them**

**If they don't talk to them or kill them, then they leave them somewhere where they get out from. Namely, the planet that the Nindroids' left with their jetpacks or whatever. On the spaceship, General Cryptor had the oppurtunity to kill the Ninja in less than a minute by self destructing, but he was too selfish to give up his own life to kill his nemesises, thus letting them live.**

**Running away from that story, I'll say that occasionally I come across a song (usually a custom song on YouTube) that I genuinely like. The types I like are Electric and Dupstep, but I don't like it too crazy.**

**Songs I like are:**

**Diggy Diggy Hole (the new version) by the Yogscast**

**The Yogscast has gone really downhill recently, and they are really repetitive. But they make genuinely good songs too. It sounds heroic.**

**"The MoonQuest Song" by Yogscast**

**Another one by the Yogscast. It has the great moral of "Never give up on your dreams," and has great vocals, I think, by Sparkles* and great animation.**

**Actually, most of the songs Yogscast make I love, because they have great animators, and are usually great composers.**

**Brass Bonanza - The whatever I don't know the team's area or province or whatever you call - The WHALERS!**

**It sounds heroic, and perfect for an adventure game. 'Nuff said.**

**Back to Lego, I am SERIOUSLY losing my interest in the actual Lego. The club magazine, which I didn't even realize I was still ordering, showed up today, and I just shoved it up in my shelf. The new themes they made are TERRIBLE. BORING.**

**The only good theme I still love is... wait, there's none. I guess you could count in Ninjago, but it's disappointed me a lot recently. The only thing I care about in Ninjago is fanfiction, stories, and art.**

**When I look at the ninja, I don't see them as adults, teens, or children... I just see them as ... I can't explain it. I'd say "immature teens." There is a piece of art on DeviantART that PERFECTLY creates my imagination of the ninja. It is completely spot on. Except for Jay.**

**Yesterday I got the game Half-Life 2, and finished it today, and I absolutely love it. It is an amazing game. VALVe is an amazing company. It has, by far, the BEST story to it EVER. It is SO DEEP that you'll go through EVERY SINGLE PAGE on the Wiki before stopping. The only part I cheated in the game was Ravenholm, using the console, because that part creeps me out so much.**

**The zombies in the game are the most terrifying things ever. One time I was in a tunnel, and I heard the giveaway growl. I turned around, and there was the zombie bashing away at me. I actually screamed and wasted a really rare grenade because I threw it in panic.**

**I also played Scribblenauts: Unlimited, and it is the most creative game ever... and kind of sad too.**

**I also played a game called The Novelist that was recently Greenlit on Steam, and I got it for three bucks in the Steam Holiday Sale 2014.**

**It's pretty short, but it is the most depressing and probably the hardest thinking game ever. There's a character called Dan who is a writer, and has a deadline to write a novel. He has a wife called Linda, who he is on the brink of divorce with. He finally has a son named Tommy.**

**Dan just wants to be successful and keep his family stable. Linda wants to stay with Dan, and she wants him to support her and help her. Tommy wants Dan to play with him and keep him happy.**

**In the game, there is nine parts. For each part, you can choose who to go to, and do all the stuff with. Then you can also do a compromise with another character, which has half of the effectiveness of the first part. The last character does not get their wish, and their relation with Dan drops. Essentially, you are Dan, because you tell him what he is going to do every night.**

**It wrenches the mind around because you have to think about how the family is going to end up.**

**I ended up with Dan becoming a Professor of Literature and his novel becoming a bestseller. Tommy also becomes the most popular kid in his new school and also becomes a successful writer. Linda, however, became depressed, and there was never again love between Dan and Linda.**

**I planned to write a Burnt Midnight chapter here. I've disappointed myself, and probably you. This was just a big rant. But don't count me as depressed. I'm very happy... I think. It's my brother who's depressed. Recently he went to a depression tester... and he tested Severe. I'm genuinely worried about him. He's not especially nice to me, because there's lots of things in life that make him sad or angry, but he's not a talking person, so he takes out all his anger at home.**

**Even so... he's my older brother. I care about him.**

**Here's a short story just so I don't break the guidelines.**

"Jay, are you sure you're qualified to steer the Bounty?"

"I'm absolutely sure, Cole. I got my Junior Pilot badge when I was in Little Scouts!" Jay announced proudly, pulling out a purple bottle cap with a grape on it.

Cole rolled his eyes and watched as Jay handled the wheel and spun it around. Jay turned around while steering and began to chat with Cole. "And blah blah blah blah blah blah..."

Almost getting lost and about to fall asleep from Jay's brainless droning, Cole jerked his head up when he looked out the pilot's window. "Jay! Lookout! LOOK WHERE YOU ARE STEERING YOU MORON!"

Jay's head snapped to attention to realize he was steering straight at a large mountain. "TURN! TURN! TURN YOU MORON!" Cole shrieked, and Jay started spinning the wheel to the right rapidly. Eventually he lost control of it and the wheel was spinning so fast the ship was going out of control.

It spiraled down towards the mountainside before exploding in a devastating ball of fire that immediately melted the countryside.

The ninja, with singed ears and scorched eyebrows, staggered outside onto the small ledges of the mountain, where the Nindroids came along, and abducted them by letting down a giant pillow filled with feathers which were coated in chloroform.

The Ninja were all disgustingly experimented on before becoming mind controlled cyborgs. Most of their vital organs were replaced by metal objects. Most. Not all. The ninja, using their elemental powers, led the nindroid army across the world, before the Resistance holed up in a huge untakeable base that had heavy artillery in it.

Seeing that the armies were not getting in, the Overlord decided to go for OVERkill and ordered construction of a nuclear bomb.

Once the bomb was constructed, he detonated it over the base and every single person on the planet was killed permanently, including the Overlord.

The First Spinjitzu Master was angered by this development, and using his godly powers, created the Death Star which blew up the planet, before being consumed by a black hole.

The Gods of the Universe were angry at the Spinjitzu Master for destroying a planet, so they killed him in Godland before being angry at the universe altogether and ended the entire universe before jumping in a black hole as it began to collapse.

Then there was nothing.

THE END

**Thanks for reading my rant... and not so short-short story.**


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